Change is not a bolt of lightning

Also in here: favorites from the Met, crying a lot, and a magazine I made

May 03, 2023

here we are!

Ahh! Our first Handpicked via Substack! Is everyone here, everyone okay? I’m so nervous. Deep breaths. And, um, we have comments now?! What is happening. Alright that’s the end of my freak out. Probably. Shall we have a few links?

I finally printed my best of 2022 photos in a magazine and I'm so happy with how it turned out. It took me a long time to make, but the company I used, Blurb, was very affordable and the quality is beautiful. I like that a magazine feels low stakes, not like an expensive, luxury photo book, but it still looks really artistic. Now that I'm off of Instagram, I'm reorienting everything about my photos and how I want to share them. For now, the move is printing everything! At the end of 2021 I made a magazine for each of my kids – we took so many photos that year! – but I didn't quite have it in me this year to organize magazines for each child, especially with Mick only being here for nine days of 2022. If you have any q’s about printing photos, as always you can reply, but also *now we can leave comments!* So ask away.

today’s bouquet

Here’s a round up of looks from the Met Gala. My favorites were Penelope Cruz, Viola Davis, and Dua Lipa. Honorable mention to Bryan Tyree Henry (who also slayed at the Oscars!)
I found this story about Queen Elizabeth II very sweet and thoughtful. But I understand why some wouldn’t – what do you think? Does it feel like a quiet kindness to you, too, or would you be offended in this situation?
Looking for a fun Wordle alternative? Nate just introduced me to Plusword. It’s hard! Other favorite brain breaks: 8 puzzle and Chronophoto.
In honor of keeping one baby and three other young children alive simultaneously for four months, I purchased two houseplants from a website with a very descriptive name. I ordered a ponytail palm and a swiss cheese plant (two more terrific names).
This simple letterpress peony print would make a pretty gift, maybe in this frame.
Thirteen years ago, in early May 2010, my relatively-new boyfriend and I said goodbye to each other at LAX and wondered how we would survive the next 46 days apart while I was on a spring term abroad, with only Gchat and email to stay in touch. I wept, y’all. To this day, my lifelong friend Drew, my seatmate on that flight and one of the only male readers of this newsletter, teases me about the drama of that moment. I can still remember looking out the plane window as we descended into Amsterdam, immediately realizing that the little rainbow squares below were tulip fields. These photos brought me right back to that memory. Oh and by the way I married the boyfriend a year later! (link via)
I’ve been looking for some slightly fancy (but not too fancy) earrings and I have these interesting gold hoops in my cart right now.
When Mark Bittman’s team calls it “the best cake you’ve ever eaten,” of course I have to make it. Will return and report back next week.
13 cooking tips from moms. So much succinct wisdom in here. My mom’s favorite thing to remind me as a teenager: mise en place! Which includes reading the whole recipe before you begin.

“For is there any practice less selfish, any labor less alienated, any time less wasted, than preparing something delicious and nourishing for people you love?”
– Michael Pollan

A drop of seawater magnified twenty-five times. Very cool.
Motherhood style through the ages. My favorite look is the mom in 1940 – I’d totally wear that blouse.
Maybe it’s just postpartum still being a thing, but I cry at the drop of a hat these days. In Trader Joe’s yesterday, I heard two songs back to back that made me burst into tears, one from high school and one from my playlist I would always listen to on my drives to the midwife last year.
Mornings here near the beach are usually foggy and in the 60's, and since I live in a drafty house with (I think) original 1959 windows, haha, I wear my Doen cardigan almost every morning. I’ve got my eye on a white fisherman sweater to throw on over dresses and t shirts. This white lambswool one looks dreamy but it's woefully out of budget; luckily this cotton Quince one is a pretty good dupe for only $39!
Lucy and recently found ourselves huddled together at an unexpectedly windy soccer game with just a beach towel to stay warm (whoops). A fellow parent shared her Rumpl blanket with us and we were delighted at how cozy yet lightweight it was. We warmed right up and vowed to buy one for each member of our family! I like this rainbow colorway.
Now this is delightful: a complete list of every Crayola crayon color ever produced.
Over the last two years I’ve done a lot of rethinking. For most of my twenties, I was very vocal on Instagram about my politics, values, and defining life moments. I don’t regret those shares, but now when I share, I try to be sensitive to nuance and others’ own humanity. When I’m really passionate about something, I try to consider what I’m missing, even when I’m sure I’m right (which is… usually 😉). This quote really spoke to me:

“Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day, with sweat and humility and slips. It is hard work, and slow work, but it can be thrilling to watch it take shape.”
–Sarah Hepola

from the archives

05/01/19: Peanut butter, pink hair, pjs, progress
05/06/20: To the moms, from my mom
05/05/21: Let me ask you something
05/04/22: Grasses as art, and 22 more fun links

5 things from trader joe’s in my kitchen right now

Unexpected cheddar. What else is new.
Yuzu nondairy frozen dessert. Charlie picked out this vegan ice cream. It’s got a very mild citrusy flavor that reminds me of a creamsicle.
Sugar snap peas. Turns out these are my super picky kids’ favorite!
This Apple Walks into a Bar cereal bars. My dad loved these when I was a kid, so we recently gave them a try, and now they’re a go-to nut-free school snack.
Fig and olive crisps. Still loving these with tapenade.

last thing

If you have a question for me, you can submit it here anonymously. You can ask me anything!
Last week’s most popular link: the move to Substack.
THANK YOU so much for reading Handpicked, for clicking the links, for replying, for sticking with me when I make changes like this... It means the world to me. I love you. Truly, truly: thank you.