Mothering in the summer, plus a heated debate

Also in here: how I get the best candid photos of my kids

Hi! It’s Wednesday.

Yesterday we took a trip to the art supply store where we gushed over all the materials in rainbow order and thrilled in the expansive variety of Art Stuff. Everyone got to pick something: Charlie and I chose teeny tiny canvases, Eleanor went with acrylics and a palette knife, and Lucy got some fancy pens and set of flip books.

The glorious aftermath

sigh

It’s a tricky thing, being a mom. The fact is I love motherhood, so I continue to choose the option of being a “stay at home mom” (we really need a better term than that) after nine years, four awesome children, and five miscarriages. I relish in spending my time close to my children, in spontaneous trips to buy art supplies and donuts and ingredients. We have the time of our lives together. They’re my pack of wolves, my cheer squad. I love them an absurd amount.

But sometimes, in the depths of the minutiae of Whose Turn It Is/ the thousandth time picking up the %*$>!&~ magnatiles/ clearing enough dishes that I can feed the family/ the fights/ the mess/ the interruptions, I’m like, am I going insane? What is happening??? All day I say, “Okay, I can handle this,” and then out of nowhere, I hit a breaking point. I snap and explode and banish everyone to the yard. It feels like someone is holding onto one end of my mind and stretching it away from me like taffy while I desperately try to stuff it back into my head.

We live in a tiny house, and the taffy-brain moments feel right around the corner this summer while we’re all close, all the time. It’s hard to bring this up, because I hate admitting that sometimes – often – I yell and I fail and I struggle. My kids are just kids! They can’t be anything else! I don’t want them to be tiny obedient clean quiet robots, and I worry that’s the message I send them sometimes. I don’t mean to complain about the life I’ve chosen or wish away this season. It’s just kind of hard. It’s also beautiful and hilarious and an enormous privilege. Once again, life continues to teach me that nothing is just one thing.

“The raising of a child is the building of a cathedral. You can’t cut corners.”
– Dave Eggers

today’s bouquet

• A family member recently asked me how I get cute photos of my kids. Not an easy task, I admit, but the two best times to get photos of babies/ toddlers are: in the crib right when they wake up and swinging on a swing in the park. Mick and Charlie demonstrate :)

Two smiles, zero coercion

• Daydreaming of last summer.

• If you haven’t seen this French soccer commercial yet, you MUST WATCH!

• One way to recycle your old Vogue magazines

• Gosh I miss Chicago.

• Got my eye out for: floral accessories. I got these hair claws for my birthday! This dainty flower garland ring, swoon. Madewell does flower bandanas better than anyone. Got a pack of these sheer socks in my cart. Holy moly, an embroidered baseball cap. Groceries like flowers, too.

• Guys, I found a spring/ summer version of my famous Thanksgiving Shirt That Nate Hates. It’s perfect!

• Wow: a humongous flamingo. I’d love to see this IRL.

• 11 of the most beautiful theaters in the world.

• What do you think – would you try these buttermilk biscuits with a secret ingredient?

• The girls helped me make this no-bake peach pie. Super delish, even though I messed it up by letting the sweetened condensed milk soak the graham cracker crust too much. Bowl of pie, slice of pie… tomato tomahto.

Bury me with a dollop of vanilla bean whipped cream

• By the way, that rosy pink tablecloth is even better in person.

• You all should know that garlic embroidered napkins exist. (via Lizzy)

• Want to add this berry patch mug to my collection!

• I'm looking for a file cabinet (boring). How do you store important documents? This classic black reminds me of the ones in my elementary school classrooms.

• This dress would be so pretty to elope in. This one too.

• Want to help me and Nate settle a debate? He says chocolate is candy. I say chocolate is not candy, although some candy is chocolatey.

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

5 things from trader joe’s

1. Carolina Gold BBQ Chips. I wait all year for these.

2. Nectarines. My store said they were out for the season! Then more appeared! And now there are eight pounds of nectarines on my counter!

3. Whole milk ricotta. This cake has been on my to do list all month.

4. Frozen rigatoni alla contadina. Pasta with asparagus, broccoli and green peas in a creamy sauce. Feels pretty close to homemade. I add a lot of extra broccoli to make it stretch farther.

5. Lemon pesto sauce. Two of my favorite flavors and this fancy little condiment did not disappoint. Currently slathering it on every sandwich.

from the archives

• 07/27/22 - Something I never do: recommend a TV show

• 07/28/21 - Don't worry, I didn't forget

• 07/29/20 - Today, Lexie Hanks emails!

• 07/24/19 - Books on books on books

“Today, let us swim wildly, joyously in gratitude.”
– Rumi

last thing

• Last week's most popular link: that really great blue dress

• A little reminder: some of the links in Handpicked I share are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you buy something, at no cost to you. Thanks for your support!

• THANK YOU. Your clicks and purchases bless my life.

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Next week, Handpicked is getting a glow up – it’s time to start paid subscriptions! The Wednesday newsletter will look similar, plus there will be bonus paid posts a few times a month. Some paid posts coming up: Mick’s birth story, my best-of-Los-Angeles list, and why I quit Instagram. You can upgrade your subscription here! xo